Posted by Daisym on January 27, 2006, at 10:52:41
In reply to Re: Had a good session today! » muffled, posted by happyflower on January 27, 2006, at 1:17:55
Happy,
I don't think you've scared people away. There seems to be a lot of pain on the board right now, for whatever reason. And I know lots of people are traveling too.
I've been thinking about what you've written, especially this idea of fate and wanting to talk to your therapist about it. I'm going to be VERY presumptuous here and I could be way, way off... and I know you didn't ask me...
But....
When I read that you want him to keep an open mind about "fate" and how important it is for you to talk to him about it and how you feel about being soul mates, etc. etc. -- to me it all feels like veiled wishes to keep talking about how you feel about him. You wrote that he said he has had clients in love with him before but that it goes away when he is clear that he doesn't love them back. (paraphrasing, forgive me.) To me the message would be: these feelings are wrong and unwanted by him. He doesn't want to talk about them, so instead you want to talk about fate.
Is it possible that there is a secret fantasy if you can convince him to believe in fate, he might be open to how you feel about him, and how you think he feels about you? There is nothing wrong with having this fantasy, I'm not suggesting there is. I have my own version of it...
I just saw the mood swing after you talked about the elepant in the room and i think there are a lot of unresolved feelings about all of this, including how he accepted or didn't accept what you were really trying to say. These things are so painful for us, knowing what we want, knowing we can't have it, knowing that if we ever got it we probably wouldn't really want it. Maybe I'm projecting all over the place but I would have a hard time saying, "Oh, OK then, I'll reclassify my feelings for you and stick them over here in the "I was just being silly" box.
I don't know if I'm making much sense this morning. I'm not sleeping much so I'm dense and slow. I just want to gently encourage you to think about what you really want to talk about but I'll be supportive of you not talking about it too.
poster:Daisym
thread:602791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/603406.html