Posted by annierose on January 19, 2006, at 6:25:24
In reply to Protecting the younger parts (long, triggers), posted by daisym on January 19, 2006, at 0:46:36
It is hard to let someone you love know that they have hurt your feelings. Maybe it's because we don't want to accept the possiblity that they could do so knowingly. But I suspect, it's often unintentional. (I'm not referring to your childhood here, your father had to know how damaging his behavior was).
I think your T is also teaching you about setting personal boundaries. In some ways, I see us as working on the same issues from opposite poles. I build walls around me, "Don't get near me or I'll bite." My fort is supposed to protect me from pain. My wall is a misguided attempt to shield me. At the end of the day, all those painful feelings surface and I don't know what to do with them.
I see you taken in everyone's pain around you, you have so much compassion, empathy and understanding. Now, you need to direct all your kindness inside, loving yourself. And I think your T wants you to first acknowledge the anger that comes with absoring so much pain, and then (the dreaded word that I don't really know how to do) --- PROCESS the anger/pain/hurt --- by naming it, talking about it, working it through with him.
I hope you feel his warmth and compassion. Your T is almost as wonderful as you.
I can't believe your father called and you endured that conversation. I would have hung up on "hello".
You are so brave. I think you are missing your T because you feel such a genuine connection of love, warmth and understanding from him. Who wouldn't miss that?
poster:annierose
thread:600606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/600645.html