Posted by Dinah on December 25, 2005, at 12:01:26
In reply to Re: Never mind » Dinah, posted by Tamar on December 24, 2005, at 21:38:19
I like that balance, Tamar. Yeah, I should talk to him about it. I guess the downside to talking about it is that he might shut himself off again, put himself in professional mode again, and basically not be "present" in the moment. I think if I want him really there, and I do, I have to take the less cheerful aspects of him too. I'll have to think of a way to talk about my concern without making him feel like he can't be present with me, warts and all. Because it really felt like therapy was actually harming me when he was just phoning it in, so to speak. I was really ready to quit, seriously, for the first time in I don't know how long. It's his presence that is healing.
I've been reading a book "The Lord is My Shepherd" by Harold Kushner. And there are several things in there that remind me of therapy, but mostly when he says that God doesn't promise that no evil will touch you, he promises that you don't have to fear it because he is present with you. That's how I feel about therapy. He doesn't have to be at his best, or give brilliant interpretations, or challenge me with skill. He doesn't have to make it all better. It just feels better to have someone completely there with you. I hope it's not sacriligious to make the comparison... Although the book does mention that people can be with someone too, even if they can't make things better, and that somehow makes things better.
Isch. I don't know. I guess I'm even more afraid of being alone in therapy than I am worried about him. :( Awful of me?
poster:Dinah
thread:591732
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/592068.html