Posted by Tamar on December 24, 2005, at 21:38:19
In reply to Re: Never mind » annierose, posted by Dinah on December 24, 2005, at 20:00:47
Hey Dinah,
Sorry, I haven’t read the whole thread… But…
> I know I worry too much. In fact, I even feel guilty about it, because I know it's stepping over that therapy boundary that it is intrusive of me to step over.
No! no! (IMHO) It’s not intrusive and you’re not stepping over any boundaries. It’s natural, and particularly in the present circumstances you’re very aware of his feelings. You are allowed to worry about him. But he’s not really allowed to let you worry too much… which is why you should probably tell him when you’re worrying…
> But, well... What would I have learned about relationships and caring over ten years of therapy if I *didn't* worry about someone who's been so important in my life when they're having rough times?
Exactly. You are a compassionate and loving person. Of course you worry about him. Honestly, it would be strange if you didn’t worry about him at least a little bit.
> I try to toe the line, at least in person. :)
Och, toeing the line is over-rated. You are allowed to tell him you’re worried. And then it’s his job to ask you how much of that worry is about him and how much of it is about yourself… And like most things, it’s probably a bit of both… And it’s his job to own the parts he can own and explore with you the parts that can be explored…
Have a wonderful Christmas, Dinah!
Love,
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:591732
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/592009.html