Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2005, at 18:04:40
In reply to Re: I used Babble a whole lot » Dinah, posted by Tamar on December 14, 2005, at 17:48:54
Maybe because both times he was being authentic him and not therapeutic him? He would never in a million years tell me all the ways I wasn't special to him, and would only exceedingly rarely tell me the ways I was. In fact, he goes out of his way to add "and all my clients" after "you". I got really mad at him once about that. I told him that if I'd been fighting to relationship with him for ten years, and still didn't mean any more to him than someone who'd been seeing him for eight weeks, that I sure had wasted my time. He's been more ok with telling me the ways I am special since then, at least occasionally.
I have this book called "Shrink Rap" that I love and hate to read. They mail a set of questions to a group of therapists and published their replies in a book. The results ranged from inspiring to horrifying, with a bit more on the horrifying side. Rational me is *always* telling emotional me that if I heard his casual comments to other professionals, it would cure me of my attachment because it would be on the horrifying side. I guess I figured I was about to hear that.
He'd never admit it, but I'm quite sure that he doesn't care all that much for rational me. Rational me says pretty rotten things about him, both behind his back and to his face. And he gets seriously irritated at the undermining. Even though he asked rational me why I did it, I'm not sure he was really braced for an answer. :)
I don't know if you were here then, but I once accidentally gave him a post where I said that both emotional me and rational me think he's a boob, but in different senses of the word. I thought I'd die in embarassment.
He seems to take it all pretty well, but maybe it was hard for him to appear to take it pretty well, and that's why he was shaky.
I'll ask him tomorrow, because I never tire of trashing rational me behind her back, so to speak.
And I made it! I didn't call him! I proved me wrong! Happy dance, happy dance. Even though it was a terribly distressing week, and yesterday I not only ate to excess, but took Risperdal, Klonopin, and a drink.
Thanks Tamar. I always value your opinion.
(I guess it's obvious from the fact that I can see the humor in this that I'm much better medicated than I was before.)
poster:Dinah
thread:588515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/589097.html