Posted by cricket on December 3, 2005, at 9:39:59
In reply to I read **trigger**Suffer the little inner children, posted by muffled on December 2, 2005, at 13:30:28
Hey Muffled,
Please don't be so sad. This is hard stuff. We're here for you.
Anyway, since I had a strong reaction to the article and I've seen many very similar I will tell you what I think.
First - This is about BPD. I have no official diagnosis. I don't know whether I have BPD or DID or both or neither. Since I think that diagnoses are more useful to insurance companies than to individuals, I have no desire to have a diagnosis.
I do know that I have what I have always called "voices". Some young, some not so young. Various voices function in different aspects of my life. For example, I have my work self who feels completely separate and different from the kid self who wants to come to your forest.
So that said, I may be coming from a completely different perspective than this writer. So take all criticism with a grain of salt.
But here are the things that I find NOT helpful about this article.
Tone - Preachy. The "You" are this, "You" are that. You must do this. Just like the author did. It switches back and forth from an accusation by the reader's inner child "You hit me, etc." to a very firm statement by the author on what the reader's problem is "You have abandoned your inner child" to an emphatic directive on what the reader must do to "save" themselves.
Melodramatic - "Cowering in the dark recesses of your being" "You are thrusting out toward the agony" Ugh. This felt like daytime trash television.
I know that for me hearing different voices in my head made me feel like a bit of a circus freak. I think in some cases articles like these contributed to that feeling.
The article also reminded me of why I avoided therapy for so many years. The whole "self-help" tone of you are damaged, love yourself, find the inner strength to heal yourself, I will guide you on the inner journey repulses and nauseates me. It feels hollow and condescending, crass, commercial, even snake oil salesmanish.
What I have found helpful
Contemplation and discussion on the nature of the self.
Is it a self-created fictive entity? Why do some of us perceive ourselves as multiple while most people perceive themselves as singular? What is my relationship to the voices? Am I just another voice? Or do I act more as the container for them?Alex and I have discussed some of this. I've discussed some with my T and I've just sat and thought a lot.
Listening to the voices.
I guess I agree a bit with the article here. I do try and listen. Each voice has his or her own unique point of view. They often have something valuable to say even if some are not very articulate or gentle in their communication. Are they always right? No, no more than any individual is always right. Do I automatically do what they say? No, absolutely not. Maybe that's easier for me because it's rarely just one voice nagging away but multiple voices with different and often conflicting desires that I must negotiate.Talking here on Babble. Even those who don't have the same issues have helped me tremendously.
I know that my reaction to articles like this is very subjective. So, muffled, if you are still reading I hope you or anyone else doesn't take offense. If these types of things are helpful, please ignore everything I have said.
Also, please keep talking to us Muffled.
poster:cricket
thread:584583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584911.html