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Re: I like your braids! (***possible trigger***)

Posted by caraher on December 1, 2005, at 9:05:32

In reply to I like your braids! (***possible trigger***) » Dinah, posted by Tamar on November 30, 2005, at 18:10:17

> OK, I haven’t seen them. But I bet your braids make you look like *you*, which is of course just the way you should look. I think braids are beautiful and feminine and generally a good thing.
>
> I suspect you are right about finding a man to work through this stuff with. I know I find it easier to talk to men about anything to do with my body. It’s definitely the dreaded middle-school-memory thing. And like Caraher said in a previous thread, women can be very critical of other women. As women, perhaps we tend to expect our appearance to be critiqued (or criticized) by other women.

Speaking of braids... last year the girls in the high school band wore their hair in French braids and I thought it looked good. But my wife brought up the braids to complain that they made the girls look unsophisticated when she thought they were trying to project a different image. (And she frequently braids her own hair.)

Still, your T has no business making negative remarks about your appearance except perhaps to point out how changes in your appearance reflect (or perhaps influence) your state of mind. And by this I mostly mean *neglect* of your appearance. Braids are never a sign of neglect because they require at least some minimal effort compared to just letting hair fly free.


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poster:caraher thread:583331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584128.html