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Re: Is this too personal of a ? to ask my T? » happyflower

Posted by allisonross on November 25, 2005, at 21:00:39

In reply to Is this too personal of a ? to ask my T?, posted by happyflower on November 25, 2005, at 11:45:18

> I have been wanting to ask my T something, but haven't because I am afraid it is too personal or private. He is really open with me about his life, so maybe it might be okay. What do you think?

Since your t (as my t said: "I allowed you to bend the boundaries, and 'see'....me), then since he has allowed you to "see" him, and it does pertain to YOU, then I think it is okay. He will let you know if he doesn't want to answer, but I believe he will.

> I want to ask him how it felt as a child growing up with parents who were in a terrible marriage(his words) . I don't know if there was abuse or not. Well his parents have been married over 60 years. I was wondering if them staying together offered him and his siblings stability even though it wasn't a good marriage. Was it worth it in his opinon, even if might have brought some sad memories. He and his siblings are all sucessful. I was wanting to get a up close view from somebody who has lived through it, not a text book story. How do I go about asking something like this. It does pretain to my marraige and my kids, and wondering if I should stay married for the sake of the kids, at least 9 more years, until they are in college. What do you think?

As someone who stayed for 31 years, I can tell you that we can't go by somebody else's life, and the most excruciating thing of all, is making the decision.

I stayed because I didn't want to raise my kids alone, and got the divorce only after they were out of high school. I should have done it 20 years sooner, but I wasn't able to make that decision, because of the fear of abandoment, and a whole lot of other issues.

No matter what anyone else tells you, it is a lonely place to be, because no one can tell you what is the right thing to do.

It's a terrible struggle...I know.....I was in that situation.

Hugs n Love, Ally


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