Re: Its called DENIAL » daisym

Posted by allisonross on November 16, 2005, at 10:49:44

In reply to Re: Its called DENIAL, posted by daisym on November 16, 2005, at 0:55:51

> I think it might be called Pain.
Most people do what they need to do, to stay out of pain.
However, MOST mothers know something is wrong. Even if they DO NOT know for sure, there are so many signs (child's behavior). If for many reasons, they choose not to ask, then of course the child continues to be abused.
>
> None of us can really know and I believe that as children we engage in magical thinking -- we believe our mothers can read our minds and just know everything. So the clues we might be leaving seem huge -- but were they really?
Depending on the child, there can be a whole HOST of clues, bedwetting, fear of being left alone (with the molester), clingyness, all kinds of things, that are not normal.
>
> It is something I've absolutely agonized over. I can make strong cases on both sides, her knowing and not knowing. After all, I didn't know about my sister...
usually that is the case, one sibling doesn't know about the other one.
>
> I've asked my therapist if he would have known. He said he would hope so, but it is amazing how underground these things can be.
>
> I don't know what else to say, except perhaps to not judge too harshly. How much pain must a person be in to not see what is happening to their child?
Cannot answer that one, but I can tell you for sure that I (although I lived wth abuse for 31 years, was excruciatingly aware of my children's behavior and feelings; but I am a hypersensitive person).
I don't see how being in pain would prevent anyone from noticing behavior in their child that is not "normal", but then I would have to have specifics on that one.
>
Hugs, Ally
P.S. I have read where mothers do something that is called "sacrificing' their children....they don't want to have sex with the husband, so they allow molesting to go on, and look the other way. How horrific.....as mothers, we are suposed to be nurturers, and protectors; I cannot......imagine this.
>

Thread

Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger*** jammerlich 11/14/05
Re: Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger*** happyflower 11/15/05
Re: Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger*** » jammerlich Frida 11/15/05
Re: Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger* allisonross 11/15/05
Re: Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger* B2chica 11/15/05
Re: Mothers - Restorative Justice/Did she know? » jammerlich allisonross 11/15/05
Re: Mothers - Did she know? Gee 11/15/05
Its called DENIAL (nm) muffled 11/15/05
Re: Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger*** jammerlich 11/15/05
Sorry, double quotes didn't link to right books jammerlich 11/15/05
My favorite too.*trigger** » jammerlich muffled 11/15/05
Re: Its called DENIAL daisym 11/16/05
Re: Its called DENIAL » daisym allisonross 11/16/05
Re: Mothers - should they have known?? ***Trigger*** » jammerlich antigua 11/16/05
((((((((((antigua)))))))))) (nm) jammerlich 11/16/05
Mothers***Trigger***Trigger*** muffled 11/16/05
Re: Mothers***Trigger***Trigger*** » muffled jammerlich 11/16/05
Re: Its called DENIAL » daisym jammerlich 11/16/05
Re: Its called DENIAL » jammerlich daisym 11/16/05
Re: double quotes didn't link to right book Dr. Bob 11/16/05
Re: Its called DENIAL » daisym jammerlich 11/16/05
Thank you Daisy (nm) antigua 11/17/05

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poster:allisonross thread:578834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/579302.html