Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 10:45:33
In reply to In therapy- whose job is it to get you better?, posted by kerria on November 14, 2005, at 4:26:24
My therapist and I had this discussion yesterday, actually. I also sometimes think he has given up on improvement and just does supportive maintenance therapy. Or to be more specific, we were talking about the fact that I have gotten much better, but my improvement still relies on his being present in my life. And shouldn't real improvement mean getting stronger internally so that I don't need him?
I *think* what we agreed on is that improvement happens along the way even if the focus of our therapy is different than the focus of change driven therapy. (And that in my case anyway, it probably happens *because* it isn't change driven therapy since I dig my heels in.)
So....
I think that always it is the client's responsibility to change.
But that there are different paths to change, and some aren't as obvious as others.
And that as part of a client's responsibility to change is a responsibility to discuss these things with your therapist. To tell him or her that while you appreciate the support he or she provides, that you think you're ready for a bit more change orientation or symptom targetting. And ask him or her what that would look like.
Sometimes I think they'd be as happy to hear that as we are to say it.
It's never worked overly well for me, because gosh darn it, my therapist is probably right. When he starts to push, I push back, and not much gets accomplished. But when he is supportive and very subtly suggests, I'm more likely to respond positively.
Do you really think you haven't improved at all? Or have you not improved in the way you want to improve.
I've improved a whole lot, but I'd like to improve in not needing him so much, and being less vulnerable. So I might complain that I'm not getting better, when what I really mean is that I'm not getting better in that way.
poster:Dinah
thread:578525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578558.html