Posted by cricket on October 26, 2005, at 15:47:20
In reply to Re: Thanks to everyone » cricket, posted by Dinah on October 26, 2005, at 15:22:49
Hi Dinah,
Thanks for your concern. If you can all bear to hear it again, here's what happened.
I told him that I didn't think I should continue therapy.
He asked why.
I said, "Well I don't think you would ever say to anyone that sees themselves as a single person that they are like the people who abused them. But because I'm in parts it's okay to say it to me. I don't see how it's helpful to me."
I actually managed to look at him as I said this and I am so glad because he immediately flushed bright red, his eyes rolled back slightly and he
glazed over. Actually I thought he was going to pass out for a second.He blurted out, "But I was talking to you."
I said, "But I can't just leave them at home. I wish I could but it doesn't work like that. They are here listening."
Then he went on his usual mile a minute spiel about child development(blah, blah, blah). At one point he said, "All I am saying is that a bird
uses twigs they find in their environment to make a nest."I thought yeah you're really grasping at straws (twigs) here.
He didn't apologize. That would have gone a long way for me. But I guess he thought that some inane comments on birds was worth more than an
apology.So I am sitting there planning what to do with all the extra money I will now have.
He's going on about recriminations and things going sour between us. He's contradicting himself like crazy. First saying he just wanted to protect one of my parts so she would feel comfortable speaking and wouldn't flee. Then saying all the problems started because this one part (the one he wanted to protect)put a gag order on another part (the tough one who would have had the abortion according to him).
I actually started to feel sorry for him at a certain point. He was all over the place. He kept on saying, "otherwise this is nothing but torture for you." I'm not sure what he was trying to say was the point of the torture. I didn't understand that. But he got the torture right at least.
Then he said, "Do you really feel like you have to make this decision today? Can you take one more week to think about it?"
I agreed. I'm not sure why.
Other than I do have the part that feels like she will die without him. I don't know what I will do with her.
And I guess I do feel sorry for him. I definitely did at that point.
But I am also closed down and when I think about it being over with I just feel relieved.
poster:cricket
thread:572077
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572149.html