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Re: unable to get moving/feeling guilty » Tamar

Posted by fairywings on October 23, 2005, at 17:41:50

In reply to Re: unable to get moving/feeling guilty » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 13:30:49

> (((((Fairywings)))))
>
> I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so awful. It sounds as if everything’s getting on top of you and you’re overwhelmed.

thanks tamar,

i think a lot of what i'm feeling is hormonal. my cycles are all messed up, so i never know when pms will hit. when it does it hits me hard for awhile, but i never know if it's pms because things are messed up.

> Especially the part about chaos and noise. That’s always the first sign of depression for me: an inability to handle chaos and noise.
> I know it’s horrible to feel guilty about how you’re relating to the kids. But I know you’re a great mom, so even if you aren’t doing everything absolutely perfectly, I’m sure you’re still doing a good job of being a mom.

thanks, i hate that i can't handle being around the kids when it gets so chaotic. i love them so much and don't want them to think i don't. my one son bounces off the walls, and it drives me batty. i have to leave because sometimes i'm afraid i'll say things that i'm worried he will interpret as attacks on him, and i don't want to do that. i just can't handle the massive energy he has ALL day and night.

> And you are NOT a bad person, and I’m sure you are an excellent wife, mother and friend. It seems to me that you're being rather hard on yourself. We love you and we know you're not bad.

thanks, i appreciate that. i'm not a good friend though, i've let all my friendships go, and i regret it, feels awful.

> I remember that a few weeks into therapy I seemed to feel worse than I’d felt before I started, but it got better again as I kept working on stuff. So maybe something similar is happening to you… and if that’s what it is, it should start to get better pretty soon.

i'm glad to know that, i hope you're right, i do feel worse, even though my T is great. wish it would go faster.
>
> In the mean time, can you talk to your husband about how you feel? Sometimes it can help to get a few things off your chest, whether it’s about how you feel about not exercising, or your difficulties handling the kids’ noise…

he has been good about things. he does support me taking time for exercise. he listens sometimes, but sometimes he pretends to listen but it's obvious he hasn't been and that feels worse.
>
> If you usually handle the family finances, now might be a good time to ask your husband to take over for a few weeks…

i can't let him pay the bills, i took them over because he didn't pay the car ins. once a long time ago, and the bank took it out on the car, and cost us a sh*tload of $. He paid bills late, and we got late fees. i pay online, so i'm pretty good about that.
>
> I really hope you start to feel better soon. Take good care of yourself. If you can think of one thing that would make you feel a bit better (listening to a CD, having a bath with candles, taking a 15-minute walk, or whatever) then just do it…

thanks tamar, I will try to do all of that, the dog would love a walk! ; ) Gosh it's cold here, is it cold where you are? I'm cold to the bone, i can never shake that.
fw



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