Posted by All Done on October 20, 2005, at 17:06:44
In reply to Re: He told me » All Done, posted by daisym on October 20, 2005, at 11:14:56
> I'm sorry they didn't work tonight Laurie. He was right though -- you aren't your mom and things will sort themselves out.
I'm so afraid of being like my mom. People don't like or respect her, I think. It's sad. She's lived a pretty hard life. I kind of understand why she's the way she is, but I'm terrified that my subconscious learned everything from her.
> Maybe you could make a list of things in two columns - the "I have control" column and the "I don't have control" -- and then try (OH SO HARD) to not obsess about the ones in the don't have control column. Then focus on the other column, even if it is only one thing, and put what ever amount of energy you can into those things. What will make a difference? For me, I have so many things in the "don't have control" column that I decided I could at least be organized and have control over finding stuff. It might be an illusion but that is OK with me.
Problem is, I've somehow managed to convince myself that I have control over most of the things I probably don't really have control over. I put a lot of responsibility on myself that doesn't belong there. And then I feel guilty when things don't have a good outcome.
> You sound tired. Maybe you need to be pampered a little. What things do you like that make you feel taken care of? Perhaps you and hubby could sneak away for a relaxed dinner and movie, or do something with a friend.
I'm exhausted, Daisy.
D and I are going to dinner and a show tomorrow and then we're going away for a weekend in a couple of weeks. We probably haven't been together without N (on a date) in over a year.
I'm going to be alone in my house on Saturday afternoon and evening, too. It's been a while since that's happened, as well.
Sometimes I wonder. I've got such a good life. What is wrong with me? I'm a spoiled brat.
> I know how easier it is to write all these things and yet it is so much harder to actually do any of them. I hope things get better soon.
>
> At least you know he cares, right?I really do know that. Is it terrible to say that isn't enough right now?
poster:All Done
thread:569163
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/569419.html