Posted by muffled on October 9, 2005, at 18:22:31
In reply to Re: How therapists think or feel (trigger) » Tamar, posted by daisym on October 9, 2005, at 17:36:26
> ***I think the origin of the feelings are easily accepted. It is the ongoing need to keep talking about suicide -- why am I doing this? It seems to me that I should either act or shut up. Am I keeping it going for some unidentified reason? (I don't think so but does he?)
For me, it cuz I'm still hurting. Something still hurts inside and won't go away. Maybe talking about it shows the seriousness of the hurt?
> If you want to know where the answers are hidden, I’d suggest they’re hidden in individual relationships between therapists and clients. There’s probably something of the White Knight in every therapist and they probably want to believe they can help even the most suicidal of patients. The good ones know that they can’t rescue us but they can help us as much as possible therapeutically. The good ones don’t get angry or resentful, because they understand that we’re not yanking their chains; we have some seriously bad cr*p to deal with every single day. But it’s all in the relationship. My therapist might not be able to help *you*; your therapist might not be able to help *me*. The important thing is your relationship with *your* therapist.Thats way cool. I'm gonna show this to my T.
> ***It strikes me that I need to examine what that relationship is right now. I know I'm pushing him away, but maybe it is time to do that. I'm just not finding therapy helpful right now and yet I can't seem to give it up either. I know enough about myself to ask if I'm shielding myself from him to protect him. If I can't hang on, how do I make it "not his fault."
Ah. The damn problem about suicide. Its so not just about us. It ends up affecting SO MANY others, in a ripple effect. There is no denying this fact.
> ***I trust him. Like I said before, I don't want to hurt him. I know I'm not in charge of his feelings but I'm not nieve enough to think that I don't have an impact on him.
>
> I hope very much that you will talk to him, because from everything you’ve said about him so far he has risen to the challenge of therapy. I like Dinah’s term: ‘fighting to relationship’. It is a struggle sometimes. I hope you get through this in a way that you find satisfying.
> ***Interesting choice of words -- satisfying. I don't know what I want anymore. I'm so tired... But I know I need to talk to him about all my concerns. the one thing I know I can still do is push myself in therapy. STill -- Monday seems so far away.
>
Tomorrow is Monday. I guess you knew that. Take care, you teaching me lots.
Muffled
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poster:muffled
thread:564696
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/564979.html