Posted by B2chica on September 19, 2005, at 9:41:11
In reply to Hi B2, posted by terrics on September 19, 2005, at 8:10:53
everyone is booking things for me on the same freaking day! (i have social issues anyway and am feeling withdrawn) but now there are three things i have to do that i really don't want to on saturday.
a family 'day'-driving an hour to see brother and sis-n-law, parents going there too. i even tried to get out of it. i honestly have a wedding reception to go to that night after caving the first time and saying ok, i finally saw 'mother' the other day and told her we just can't make it...she ok'd but five minutes later after i snuck into my room she came a knockin' basically teared up and said they REALLY counted on family being together,blah blah blah 'GUILT'...and other guilt related words. so now i have that, (stressful enough since brother was one abuser and i'm not ready to be touchy-feely with him-which he is), then wedding reception of a close friend-who my other friend said he didn't first invite me cuz she thinks he has feelings for me...messy story but he verbally invited me to reception so i want/need to go, then my husband volunteered me to go camping later that same night! (he kinda guilted too) bonfire great but then sister-n-law now wants us to come back home at night and stay at our house...conversation alone? i'd rather be with the others so i didn't have to talk!yes, ALL THAT STRESS packed into one fun filled day/night/morning.
almost wish i had a breakdown to get out of it, but my husband deserves a little happiness so i'm doing that latter for him. i do like to see him smile.
let's face it, i am a master at disguising my pain. just as i was getting used to actually maybe letting it show a bit...'just suck it up b@tch is all i hear in my head'. 'your feelings dont' matter, people don't ask that much, you're just being lazy and stupid'.
if i was stronger i'd punch that voice right between the eyes. but now...i cave...AGAIN!b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:556767
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/556782.html