Posted by Tamar on September 16, 2005, at 15:56:53
In reply to a little more coherent, but I need some help!, posted by fairywings on September 16, 2005, at 8:54:41
Hi Fairywings,
I think I can understand a little better why you’re freaked out. Just a few thoughts:
1. You are NOT crazy. I think what you’re experiencing with the inner children is very normal and lots of people who don’t have mental health problems experience something similar.
2. When your therapist said you would never get over it, I think he was simply taking your childhood experience seriously and refusing to minimze it. I think he meant that there are things that never heal completely after they’re injured. I injured my knee a few years ago playing sport. It’ll always be a little weak but I’ve found ways of taking care of it so that I can continue to play sport. A more obvious example is that the experience of being raped will have a lifelong effect on my sexuality, but I am learning ways of handling it (as I suspect you have as well). So maybe getting over it isn’t really the point: the point is to learn to recover as best you can from some devastating events. If your T said you would one day be completely free of all feelings about it, he’d be minimizing your experience. I think he wants to be honest with you (always a good sign in a therapist, IMHO).
3. You don’t have a dirty secret. There’s nothing dirty or nasty about you. You are a wonderful person just the way you are. The hidden things are part of who you are. I suppose you could keep this stuff out of therapy, but you probably wouldn’t be doing yourself any favours if you refused to talk about it.
Ever since you started posting, I’ve had the impression that you’re an extremely courageous person; you’ve been through a lot of sh*t that no one should have to deal with, and you’ve dealt with in the best way you could. And you’ve been very brave with therapy so far.
So don’t be too hard on yourself, OK? Take it slowly and look after yourself.
I hope your T will help ease your fears.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:555591
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555730.html