Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:39:40
In reply to Terrible Session, posted by cricket on August 16, 2005, at 15:10:41
((((Cricket))))
Glad to see your post. I have been wondering / worrying about you...I think it is amazing that you told him about your dream :-) I'm far too chicken to talk about stuff like that...
I don't know much about dream interpretation... But I reckon the principle of charity probably applies there too, ESPECIALLY when someone is offering an interpretation that the dreamer isn't so sure about...I think... Kids are scaired. And vulnerable. But she reached out to him and he was speaking a different language and rather than just being there and being kind he said one of the most hurtful things anyone could say:
> Today we are going to talk about the time of the child. From the beginning, we should understand that the child is stupid:-(
> So my therapist's interpretation:
> I think he is stupid. (from his words the child is stupid in the dream)???
Not sure how he got to that... I would have thought that it shows that you are scaired that he will think that you are stupid...
> I don't think he is genuine. He puts up some officious front like a social secretary and that's all I get. (From when the alter did get through, she got some sort of assistant who manages his affairs and the only part of him she got was a lecture).Hmm. Did you tell him that?
> My therapist was very upset. He said there are things revealed by this dream which it is hard to discuss in any context. I was bracing to hear them but then he ended the session.
> I think what he wanted to say was I'm really not capable of doing this work. He edged toward them by saying "You think you are hopeless. You think therapy is the stupidest thing in the world. You wonder why the h*** you are here." He said all this with such coldness that it felt as if he had put "I" in the place of the yous.Sounds to me like he is feeling scaired and undervalued. So maybe I'm projecting... But it does sound more about him than you...
> This doesn't feel like something we can recover from. I don't think he is stupid, and I can tell him that, but he won't believe me. He did say, "You think I'm stupid to think you might be something other than stupid," which is true. I can't deny that.Smart people can say stupid things sometimes ;-)
> I just hope it's over next week. I just hope he terminates me quickly. He did say, "You want a mercy killing, don't you. Just kill you and get it over with." So maybe it will be swift.Hopefully he is more interested in giving you what will be helpful to you rather than giving you what you want.
I read something somewhere...
About how the nature of the therapy relationship is that it is time limited.
That it brings up the memories of trauma.
They will leave.
They will do that which traumatised us the most.
We are the helpless victims from the start
And they are damned if they do this
And damned if they don't
Not a very nice place to be
But there is still no excuse for lashing out.
The interpretation of dreams isn't hard
Because the ego has split
It is all there open to view in the alters.
You don't have to dig quite the same
The apparant complexity of that
Means all lies open to view
Embarrasingly...
I don't think...
That with this disorder...
You are supposed to dig
Because all lies open to view.>I tried to think about what I wanted him to say. I wanted him to say, "I'm sorry she couldn't reach me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for her. Tell her not to be so nervous about talking to me."
I don't understand why thats too much to ask...
>Instead, he said, "I think she had better learn how to dial a telephone," and "If she wants to talk to me it had better be before 2:30 because that's the last time I am available" In the dream the note told her to call by 2:30 and 2:30 is the end of our session.
:-(
>Our relationship had been going okay, I thought. Although I haven't felt particularly close to him, we haven't been fighting.
>Will we talk about it in our next session? I don't know. I don't think he gets over things so easily. So he will probably bring it up. I will just retreat into my shell of silence until he terminates me.
:-( I don't know what to say... I think you should try and tell him. Even if you have to write it down and give it to him. About what you would have liked him to say. About what you think the dream means (maybe focus on the nice bits). About how what he said hurt you.
That you want to keep working with him (if you still do)
Maybe he will learn to change...
I don't know.
I'm sorry :-(
poster:alexandra_k
thread:542514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/542565.html