Posted by jadah on August 15, 2005, at 18:29:14
In reply to My best friend is like a race horse.., posted by orchid on August 15, 2005, at 16:43:23
I have only one friend from grade shcool. We had a blast growing up, we were inseparable. Once we graduated high school though everything changed. It was an unscripted competition about who was going to get the best job, who would graduate from college first, who would marry first, have the most kids... My friend changed. All she wanted to do was marry "rich" so she could have a big house, nice car, status.... Ive never been materialistic (unlike her I had to earn everything I had growing up) She married and had kids. I graduated college, twice and made enough money to make ends meet. I dont have the big house like she does. Her husband thinks Im a loser b/c I dont have all the "toys".... My childhood friend seemed to me a stranger. I started to lose touch with her b/c we had nothing in common and when I did go see her I left feeling like pond scum. I felt as though I would never live up to her and her husbands standards, nor did I want to. While she sat at home sipping margaritas with her bunko group I was trying to get by. Birthdays and christmas' came and went. She was angry at me for not being around.... her kids were growing.... but so was her ego. One day instead of making thousands of excuses for why I couldnt see her I got the courage up to tell her the truth. I felt that I had to do that if the relationship meant anything to me. I told her how I felt around them (tried to stick with I statements), how weve both changed.... I am who I am.... the ball was in her court. She surprisingly didnt get mad she in fact was glad I told her b/c she couldnt figure out what was wrong. She acknoweledge some of what I had said. Did things change? for a little while. I finally realized that we are just two different people now and I needed to move on and find friends that treated me well and made me feel good about myself. Friends support eachother no matter what. They are there to listen, to talk to , to laugh with, cry with, be adventurous with... these are things I look for. Eventually you have to ask yourself, "what am I getting out of this relationship?"
poster:jadah
thread:542027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/542088.html