Posted by LadyBug on August 7, 2005, at 21:07:43
In reply to In Session: Chapter 8 - Mothers Lost and Found, posted by daisym on August 7, 2005, at 1:39:22
This chapter is the one that made me interested in buying the book when it first came out. I could relate to so much of it and it helped me realize that my feelings of love and longing for my therapist were pretty normal. I had a hard time understanding them but this chapter talked to me. My mom is bipolar and therefore she wasn't reliable for me. My therapist has tried to be reliable and consistant with me. I've struggled with my attachment to my therapist. I tell myself this isn't a real relationship and it can never be anything outside this office. My attachment has been frustrating to me. It makes me afraid of loving her and having to tell her goodbye in the end. But I do love her! Why should I have my heart professionally broken??? I have my therapist in my mind all the time. I think about her more than anything else in my life. That get's overwhelming at times. In the beginning of my therapy with her I wanted to know where she was going if she ever went away. I feared abandonment. I want to know that she is thinking about me between sessions. At times I've had to make sure of it by calling her and leaving her a message or by sending her a note. I've been so afraid to love because I don't want to be hurt. I can't seem to get through it. It's the hardest part for me.
My Mom never, ever hugged me or said I love you. That hurt who I am inside.
Good chapter!! Great book!!! I'm so glad Lott wrote this book!! Now I just wish she'd write another one!! And I could graduate from therapy!! In one peace and be happy.
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:538593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/538882.html