Posted by Racer on August 4, 2005, at 16:38:08
In reply to Projection? or something more sinister?, posted by Deneb on August 3, 2005, at 21:03:26
I think it's pretty common to look at others and compare ourselves to them -- sometimes in a projective way, sometimes just in that casual, "I think she's thinner than I am..." way. Here's a question for you, though: what do you get out of it?
Obviously, since she has her degree and you don't, there's some difference. It's not intelligence, since you're smarter than she is, so it has to be something else... She finished it? That's my guess. If that sounds harsh, let me tell you a little bit about me that I don't like to tell: I never finished my degree. I was, as I recall, a junior. A junior with a 4.0 GPA, because none of my professors thought I deserved anything over an A. So, perfect -- but incomplete. And I'm ashamed of that.
It sounds to me as though you're looking at her more than you're looking at yourself, probably for some of the same reasons I did that sort of thing when I was younger, and I hope that's what your T was trying to get at. Instead of worrying about the comparisons, can you allow her to be herself and you to be yourself? You're different, she's different -- and just allow it to be?
Also, hard as it is, you don't have to get superior grades in everything, every time. If you don't, you're still worth exactly the same -- your light will still reach the earth just as brightly.
I hope that what I've written makes sense, and that your feelings aren't hurt by it. That really wasn't my intent, only to offer you the benefit of my experience.
(Oh, and another thing I've learned over the years: aloneness isn't as painful as the loneliness of not liking one's friends.)
poster:Racer
thread:537244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/537549.html