Posted by LauraBeane on July 31, 2005, at 16:23:26
In reply to Terminations, posted by frida on July 31, 2005, at 12:29:43
I've not posted before but this issue is so compelling that I cannot help but add my voice. I hope I am posting properly. I've been with the same T for 2 years. It's the longest I've ever been in therapy. I feel like I really connect with him, but I wonder how much is genuine and how much of this connection is contrived on his part. Certainly he knows how to reach out to people and make them feel special. It's so easy for me to believe that I'M the one who is special, but I suspect that the truth is really that all his patients are special.
He reminds me every so often that someday we will terminate therapy. I get upset (don't want him to leave me) and he says we will both know when progress is no longer being made. He also warns me that some people cling to their problems because they don't want to leave therapy. This scares me too (are you talking about ME?). I hope when the time comes I am strong enough to terminate gracefully. I am really very afraid of terminating. Secretly I want him to stay with me always -- no, more than that, to stay with me, help me, save me, love me, take me away... although intellectually I realize this is absurd. Because I am so eager, I think for me it's crucial that he remain strict about boundaries. I am so eager that the smallest transgression on his part would become larger than life in my mind.
Thanks to all who share their thoughts and experiences on this very tough issue, and thanks to Deborah Lott for sharing with us what you have learned both through your own difficult experiences and through your years of research. I think that many people are being helped by reading this board. thanks too for listening to me now.
LB
poster:LauraBeane
thread:535044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/536034.html