Posted by pinkeye on July 22, 2005, at 16:04:06
My ex T over estimated me - from the very beginning.. He didn't realize my emotional problems, how weak I am, how confused and tortured I am.. He didn't understand that I operate in a 12 year old self most of the times.. He got little carried away by my professional achievements, and ability to fake everything and appear all together.. and didn't understand the turmoil inside. He kept dismissing me when I said I don't have good self esteem or when I wrote so many emotional emails complaining.. He never once suspected serious problems with me.. I started complaining about my father in the beginnning and he said "You are 26 - how long are you going to complain about your father".. He didn't realize that I was getting to all this abuse.. And then I shut up after that.. He kept saying I was fine, I was all right, and I kept feeling so immensely bad.. and didn't know what to do. He dismissed my transference and attraction to him as normal and that it would disappear.. And it doesn't. I tried to be a cry baby and tell him several times how much I was hurting.. But he never got it. I wish he had paid more attention to what I was saying..And I wish he didn't dismiss me as being fine all the time. He never looked beneath the surface.. even when I told him. And finally when I had the courage to tell him how it really hurts me, I think he got frightened and left me abruptly. When I really needed the support the most, he vanished.
That is the same problem with my dad also - they trust their own percepition and views too much, and they don't listen and grasp when the other person says something is really bothering..
poster:pinkeye
thread:531705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/531705.html