Posted by crushedout on July 13, 2005, at 22:33:04
I just posted this on social because i thought it was going to be a social thread but now that i realize it actually belongs on this board.
I can totally relate to stuff I've read here lately about not wanting to grow up, or wanting to be little again, wanting to be on a lap, be held, feel safe. I've been longing for it so badly for so long. I don't know how we really ever get over this. I want a mommy.
I also really want a partner. I'm not sure whether I want my partner (if and when I ever might find one) to be my mommy. Right now I think that's sort of what I want, but that doesn't seem healthy. I'm only really drawn to women in their mid-forties, kind of pretty, showing a little age, some imperfection, kind, with a nice smile and glasses.
Somehow, my therapists always seem to end up fitting the bill. Not sure if they shape the bill or the bill shapes them, if that makes any sense. I just want to sit on my therapist's lap tomorrow, and nestle my head between her shoulder and her face, against her neck. Maybe nuzzle her a little. But I would crush her. I'm too big. Why couldn't I have been born a kitty or a lap dog? They get to love and nuzzle anyone they like all their lives, and no one ever says, "Hey, doggy! Aren't you kind of big to be wanting love??? Go act your age!" No. They just pet them and talk goofy talk at them and give them snacks under the table.
I need a really good wife.
poster:crushedout
thread:527350
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/527350.html