Posted by Anon2005 on July 8, 2005, at 20:17:39
In reply to Re: I Feel Like a Slut » Anon2005, posted by Tamar on July 8, 2005, at 19:38:26
((((Tamar)))) Thanks.
I just woke up from a "klonipin nap"...I was crying hysterically and knew I might start calling people and blaming them or else continue to beat myself up over this, so I took some Klonipin, which usually mellows me out then knocks me out and I feel a bit more in control when I wake up.
I was even starting to feel like no one on the board cared enough to respond.
I haven't been seeing a therapist for quite a while for a number of reasons. My doc does "therapy lite" with me because I've had a lot of bad things happen and her goal has been to get me through these crises.
I was raised in a really restrictive household and I just feel like I've given myself to too many men out of a desire to just be loved. Like you pointed out, I've never been truly loved...and I'm almost 28. That's totally pathetic and sad.
I just find myself in these situations and a guy asks if I want to take the next step and I find myself nodding silently like a little girl (I was never sexually abused though, but my mother was very emotionally, mentally and physically abusive towards me.)
And what man is going to love a "head case" like me? Or else resist the urge to exploit and use someone who practically carried around a card saying "love me please!!"
poster:Anon2005
thread:525037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/525178.html