Posted by pinkeye on June 25, 2005, at 16:13:06
In reply to Re: Feeling better after I sent it » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 24, 2005, at 22:55:40
> Pinkeye, is he in good thoughts now? Do you think moving on means that you don't think good thoughts about him? Do you think you can more forward, forgive him, and have good thoughts about him that will stay with you?
---- Yes, he is still very much in good thoughts. I feel very bad many times, but still somehow I have good regards for him. The thing is, I really don't know how to move on. I have never been good at it.For me, moving on means, you don't like the person anymore, and you don't think about that, and somehow you don't feel anything for them. I don't want to do that.. I want to be able to move on in a good way - kind of still be able to remember all that he taught me. Right now, I am in such a mood where moving on, means getting angry at him, and deciding he is a jerk and not worth spending time - I don't like this. I want to feel good and move on.
Does it make sense? I have always felt it is much easier for me to move on from good relationships and good endings rather than bad relationships.
>
> One quesion I would like to ask you, I hope you don't take it wrong or get mad at me. Do you think that maybe holding on so tight to your ex T and being upset and not letting him go is a way to avoid dealing with your other problems?--- No I don't think I am doing that.. I have been honestly working on all the other issues that I have.
> Do you think moving on is holding a grudge against your T? I don't hold a grudge about my mother, I am doing it to keep my me and my family safe. Isn't a grudge holding anger against someone? I have no anger, I feel nothing, I am indifferent, I have moved on. Even my T sees this, he said I made a huge shift a couple of months ago and am looking at my present problems that maybe was taken a back seat to the past problems. I feel like I have healed this part in me.
----- Maybe because you have a higher self confidence and self respect than I have. Maybe you are able to say that you need better and move on. I am not able to.
> I know your T meant a lot to you and it hurts very bad. How did you handle past relationships in your earlier life? Has a boyfriend ever broke up with you or something simular. How did you get through that? Maybe it might help to do the same thing. Maybe I have no idea what I am talking about. I just want to help unstuck you and this hold your T has over you. What can I do to help? I think you have made wonderful progress today, I want to help you, what can I do?
----I have never been good in moving on in this regard.. I have always found I tortured myself for years before I decided to move on. I haven't really had a boyfriend as such - mostly it was one sided crushes.. People have had one sided crushes towards me also, but it had never really been both ways at the same time.
poster:pinkeye
thread:518168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/518757.html