Posted by JenStar on May 30, 2005, at 12:10:40
In reply to How does one be a good friend?, posted by Angela2 on May 29, 2005, at 15:23:42
hi Angela2,
I agree with a lot of the posters - there is so much great advice here! My favorites are:Like Messadivorce said, listen more than talk. That's hard for me sometimes b/c I LOVE to talk. Sometimes I find myself cutting into a conversation, breaking in, and telling MY story. I know that's annoying. (My Mom told me once.) So since then I've tried very hard to always let people talk as looooong as they want, THEN I talk. It works!!
My other advice: Don't be too aggressive about calling & trying to get the relationship going at first. You'll need to make the first moves, like calling & asking them to coffee. But if they are not able to do it one week, don't call 3 or 4 times asking about it. Wait a while, then try again. I had one friend who just called me to death, and eventually I started phone screening her - she was just too "much" and I couldn't handle it.
And I guess my best advice is just to be sweet and friendly. Smile a lot. Compliment your friend genuinely on things he/she does well. Don't overdo it into "suck up" territory, but don't be afraid to be nice and to say nice things. Never compete with your friend - always be there as a support.
I also like the advice about calling when you say you will, and honoring your commitments.
You list sounded good, too! Do you have any potential friends in mind?
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:504801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/505213.html