Posted by gardenergirl on May 20, 2005, at 15:19:42
In reply to T didn't help-pls help, need advice, posted by Angela2 on May 20, 2005, at 13:10:26
Hi Angela2,
It's nice to see you post again, although I'm sorry that you are struggling in this relationship.I think your T is correct in saying that it's not unreasonable to ask your boyfriend not to smoke in front of you. You said you are worried it will become a big deal and it bothers you. Well, it might become a big deal, if your boyfriend really struggles with trying to keep his word. But if it does become a big deal, I think that will have more to do with him than with your request. It is a perfectly reasonable request. There is nothing wrong with you expressing this preference to your boyfriend. It's then up to him to decide to honor it or not or to argue about it or not. But it's reasonable.
Regarding his friends, it sounds like you do have strong feelings about them. Are these the same friends who you felt uncomfortable around in the beginning of the relationship? I remember you used to leave the room when they were around. It may be that you are having these intrusive thoughts because of the strong feelings you have that it seems you cannot express. Do you talk to your boyfriend about these feelings? It may help for you to write it all out when you find yourself bothered by the thoughts. You don't have to show the writing to anyone, but sometimes it can act like a "brain dump", letting you vent it all out and move on.
(((Angela2))))
Good luck. Let us know how you are doing.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:500363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/500421.html