Posted by pinkeye on May 19, 2005, at 14:13:37
So, in my marathon race at getting better, here is one more question for all of you.
Do any of you constantly worry or are constantly afraid? And do any of you ruminate (think about the same things again and again and again in your mind)
I find that I worry excessively about all issues and I stretch things to the extreme. If I don't do well a little bit in my job, then I fear that I am going to be fired.
If I get little bit numbness, then I fear that I have some neurological problems. If I get little headache, I even think I have some brain tumor.
And I know I picked it up from both my parents. My father and mother are like that. My dad used to constantly terrorize about everything. If I picked up a bucket of water he used to tell me, "Oh. don't pick it up, you will break your back".. If I go near a fan, he used to scare me saying my hair will all be pulled into the fan.. things like that. For every small thing, he always used to extrapolate it to the extreme. And my mom gave me the fear about illness. She is always extremely afraid of her body, and keeps imagining she is becoming paralytic, she is becoming blind, she has got cancer.. Every possible thing. And my mom has this quality of constant worry and rumination of the same things.
So, without going further into my parents, the outcome is that I got intense fear about everything. And I also constantly ruminate about things.
I observed myself, and found that I need soemthing to worry about all the time. Either it is about my ex T, or about my husband, or about my arthritis, or about going back to India or about my job, or about money.
And if there is nothing to worry, then I worry that I am not happy. (like now :-))
And I am constnatly afraid of everything in life.. Very deeply afraid. I am afriad that I will lose all the money, I am afriad of relationships and that nobody will like me, I am afraid I will lose my job and I will not find any other job, I am afraid I will die soon. The list is really endless. And I ruminate about it also.
So any advice?
poster:pinkeye
thread:499933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/499933.html