Posted by JenStar on May 4, 2005, at 18:21:36
In reply to Is it really harmful to be friends with T ?, posted by happyflower on May 3, 2005, at 10:35:29
I think it hurts most of all to realize that the T may not WANT to be our friend after therapy is over. Even if it's not explicitly forbidden, and even if WE want to be friends, the T just may have no desire to do it.
Part of the process of good therapy is becoming dependent and trusting the T, which are things we normally do with good friends. It's very hard to come to terms with the fact that for the T, the relationship isn't really "friendship" the way we like to define it -- it's something else entirely. (Without the $$....no therapy!)
We have only one T, but the T has many many clients...to us, the T is a huge part of our world. But to the T, we are just one of many. I believe that good T's do care about each patient individually, just the way a good doctor cares about each patient in a practice or hospital. But how draining it would be, how impossible, for the T to form a 'real' friendship with each client who wanted it.
Anyway, I think in VERY special cases a friendship may develop on its own. But in that case, the T would easily figure out a way to stay "friends." If we have to ask this kind of question, I think it already means that the T is just not interested in such a relationship.
Just my 2 cents! Hope it didn't offend...
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:493094
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/493816.html