Posted by pinkeye on May 4, 2005, at 12:34:06
In reply to Re: Is it really harmful to be friends with T ? » happyflower, posted by Shortelise on May 4, 2005, at 12:12:01
Ok Guys.. I see all of your point.
I guess that is why it is generally not encouraged for a T to be friends with a former patient.But actually what I was getting to, was the fact about cutting off ALL contact after therapy is over. Even this, in most cases, (like short term therapy, specific issue related therapy etc) is probably advisable not to encourage any contact after Termination.
But what I was getting to is, above and beyond all these rules and regulations and quesiton about power dynamics in relationship, at the end of the day, both the T and the patient are human beings. And they just have emotional needs. To tell a patient that after termination, he/she has to completely cut off contact with a T (who during the course of therapy serves as the most closest person to this patient) is wrong. If the therapist decides personally, that further contact with him/her is most likely to damage the client further, or if the therapist doesn't like to see him/her in the role of a friend or detested the patient to startwith, by all means, he/she should'nt encourage contact, ie, if the patient was being a complete nuisance to him/her, or he/she personally didn't like the patient and was just waiting to get the therapy over with. I don't advocate the therapist playing a role of a therapist in the name of friendship. But what I am trying to say is that the decision should be left to the therapist's common sense and the patients common sense and not make that a rule.
To my mind, it is incredibly cruel, to have a patient completely open up and get attached to you, and then one day just ask the patient to stop contacting you and forget that you ever existed in his/her life. It is just not human.
Actually, the whole therapy model is based on religious and other social models which take humanity into account and are more humane. In church, people go to counselling to the pastors, and they go to make confessions. And that is what served as a starting point for this whole therapy business. To just take that part of it and apply it half way, but without understanding the deeper meaning behind it is wrong. The deeper meaning in therapy, is the relief that the client gets from bonding closely with another human being. That is what helps. That is why more humane therapists are always more successful than brillian and sharp and otherwise un empathetical therapists. What the patient really needs is the love and care and afffection and the bond. In my mind, the current western model of therapy, takes the humanity out of the picture.Just my 2 cents.
poster:pinkeye
thread:493094
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/493642.html