Posted by gardenergirl on May 2, 2005, at 23:51:10
In reply to Re: Update...yesterday's session » gardenergirl, posted by annierose on April 29, 2005, at 9:18:28
> Hard work, but good work too gg!!
Thanks.
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> I think you guys are back on course. I am so happy that it seems you are over the hump AND can start 2x per week sessions. I really like going more often.I think I'm going to like it, too. Kind of looking forward to it a lot, because right now I feel really anxious to see him between sessions. A week feels way too long.
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> I know exactly what you mean about flinching and wanting soothing at the same time. This is EXACTLY what my T and I are working on too!! Those exact words as well ... how weird is that? I see it re: sex as well ... wanting it and not ... all at the same time.Oh, wow. I did not associate this conflict with sex as well, but I do have that same kind of feeling when it comes to that. It makes it quite difficult to send out clear signals to my hubby. I keep telling him we need direct and clear communication about it vs. "signals", but he is a bit shy when it comes to actually *talking* about sex. I suppose I would be too, if I hadn't started talking to my T about it. No way around using all those words. Aack!
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> Over on the relationship board, I mentioned how my T said that going to therapy was like being touched. That is dead on right. But I can't get my brain wrapped around this concept on how it fits. She told me yesterday that it fits perfectly and explained how and go figure, I can't remember any of her explanation ... what does that mean?I think that at least for me, if I don't remember something that seems important, it's perhaps because I'm not ready to take it all in yet. I get very frustrated by that, but my T assures me it will come up again if it really is important. I just don't have the patience to wait. And he often does not repeat something exactly as before if I ask. He'll talk about the topic, but he doesn't "review the transcript" so to speak. Grrrrr. I think he thinks that hearing it in a moment that is relevant is better.
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> I also had a similar experience last summer. My son and I were involved in a car accident. After leaving him in ICU, I kept my therapy appointment and sobbed and sobbed. I had my hands over my face, wrenching with pain. I heard her move in her chair (she probably felt so uncomfortable or saddness for me) and I quickly stopped crying, afraid she was going to come over to hug me (but knowing at the same time, she never would touch me).Wow, that must have been a draining session. I'm glad you had your T for support at that time. How scary.
I'm also glad you posted this. One of the things that led me to say in my session last week "I'm so screwed up!" (which he didn't challenge, I might add...darn it!) was this exact thing. It's just so upsetting to me that I would flinch away from (the idea of) someone trusted offering comfort.
I suppose it's a good thing he's usually good at emotional holding. Kinda looking forward to that feeling returning more consistently.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:485802
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/492946.html