Posted by Tamar on April 29, 2005, at 15:07:07
In reply to MY BRAIN IS CAUSING ME TO LOSE MY MIND!!!, posted by medhed on April 29, 2005, at 3:41:31
> Am I to blame for all my transgressions and should I have had to pay the consequences (continue to pay) so many times when intervention could have saved me. It makes me bitter, it makes me unsane.
I think it’s important to distinguish between blame and responsibility when it comes to things like this.
For example, do you know the ancient Greek story of Oedipus? When Oedipus was a baby it was predicted that he would kill his father. His father responded by leaving him out in the mountains to die. But he was rescued and brought up far away from his parents; they didn’t even know he was alive. Once he was grown up, he killed his father in a road rage incident, without knowing it was his father. He went on to marry his mother, not realizing it was his mother. When he eventually found out what he had done, he blinded himself. But being blind didn’t stop him from being an effective king. (Sophocles tells it better than I do.)
My point is that Oedipus isn’t *to blame* for killing his father and marrying his mother. He didn’t know they were his parents, so we can’t blame him. However, he is *responsible*, because he was the person who actually did these things. Does that make sense?
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: perhaps you’re not to blame. You’re certainly not to blame for the chemical imbalances that perhaps have led you to do some things you regret but that you feel responsible for.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. People do make mistakes. No one is perfect. And we can’t change the past. Part of therapy is about accepting we’ve screwed up and about moving on from where we are now.
poster:Tamar
thread:491338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491556.html