Posted by medhed on April 29, 2005, at 3:41:31
GABA is making me ache all the time, socially impeded, mood swings. Seretonin is making me depressed, obsessive, apathetic. Noradreneline is making me tired, not being able to sleep properly, unfocused. Dopamine is making me seek instant rewards, a kleptomanic, a sex addict. Forget about what I didn't mention...
All my chemical imbalances not treated for so many years have caused me to create survival mecanisms that are disorders in themselves that cannot be treated with chemicals. Therapy is so hard, how do you change half a lifetime of bad decisions and try to make peace with yourself? Am I to blame for all my transgressions and should I have had to pay the consequences (continue to pay) so many times when intervention could have saved me. It makes me bitter, it makes me unsane.
Paradoxally, it is a breakthrough for me to start to realize some of these things.
I could go on and on but I type rather slowly and I'm hoping that this little tome will help me get it out of my system...tossing and turning in bed and thinking, I need sleep.
thanx for the ear!
poster:medhed
thread:491338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491338.html