Posted by messadivoce on April 26, 2005, at 15:22:24
In reply to Recent threads combined.... need feedback, posted by LittleGirlLost on April 26, 2005, at 13:39:27
I would absoutely reccomend you bring up your desire for a hug or physical contact. From what I know, a T who is psychodynamic would not engage in any physical contact before discussing it the patient...what does it mean? Why do you want it? Would would it mean if we hugged? Those kinds of things. Even then, a T has a right to refuse.
My T was just as you say yours is--but when I brought up to him that I wanted to be hugged, we discussed it first. I felt much the same as you do--dirty and untouchable. My T handled my request with utmost sensitiviy. He told me that he was sorry he couldn't hold me/hold my hand, but that he could hold me in other ways, which I guess would go back to that thread on psychological holding. Much later, close to termination, I asked him for a hug, and he did hug me. I think had he refused, it would have altered my ability to trust him, and crushed me. I think that hug was a part of my treatment, after being carefully thought out and discussed.
As for telling my T that I loved him. I did tell him that once in the middle of my treatment, and although he didn't say it back, he said how glad he was that I told him. Then in my last session I told him I loved him and he told me that he loved me, too. I think telling your T you love her would be really important, even if she doesn't respond in kind. I think it's more important that you are able to express your feelings than to look for reassurance that she loves you back. But it sounds like you guys are on the way to builing a solid relationship, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if the affection and warmth she feels for you would translate into a kind of limited, speical love that therapists feel for their clients.
poster:messadivoce
thread:489866
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/489893.html