Posted by pinkeye on April 8, 2005, at 17:22:36
I am just thinking back and realizing that the limited contact that I had with my ex T worked out so very much to my advantage. I only had maybe about 10 sessions face to face with him over a course of 2 and half years, and the rest thorugh emails.. him replying maybe once in 2 - 3 months.
I am now realizing that my ex T was very wise in choosing to reply only sporadically, and never tried to be too warm or affectionate or gave me the feeling of relying on him. He almsot always from the very beginning asked me to be self reliant, and that I should be independant without relying on him.
And in retrospect, I think what he did was very very wise. If he made me rely too much on him, and replied to each of my mails and was there all the time when I needed him, my feelings for him would have totally gone out of control for me. Even for this much of contact I came to like him so much. What if he had been much more warm and caring? I don't think I would have ever been able to let go of that person and move on..
I see lots of therapist who go beyond and are extremely warm and caring towards their patients? Wondering if that is just a recipe for disaster for these patients? How will you ever leave a therapist like that if you come to be so dependant on him?
poster:pinkeye
thread:481725
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/481725.html