Posted by Dinah on April 1, 2005, at 10:31:04
I had planned to tell my therapist the one thing I've never told him. Which probably isn't important except that I didn't want to tell him. But in honor of our session last time, it seemed appropriate.
But the space between us felt all wrong. So when he asked what I wanted to talk about, I admitted that the space between us didn't feel right for discussing it. He then admitted that he was feeling tense and had a headache, and I introduced some light talk about infidelity. After a while I felt him relax. And at that point, with barely enough time left in session to discuss it, I moved to what I had wanted to say.
It all worked out ok. I said what I wanted to say and had it received in the way I'd have wanted to have it received. It wouldn't have gone nearly as well if I'd have plowed ahead while he was tense.
But I worry that I'm replaying my childhood role in therapy. I detected what Mommy and Daddy were feeling, cajoled them by giving them what they needed, and managed to get what I wanted in return. And liked every minute of it, as did they.
Yet, on the other hand, this is a somewhat real relationship, and I care for him and how he feels. It's natural for me to want him to feel well, and to help him with that if I can.
I at least stopped short of asking if there was anything I could do to help. :) And the session did end up being about me, because I know it's supposed to be. And it would have seriously displeased him if he thought his mood interfered with that. It's just that I tailored the "about me" to suit his mood.
And I'm still not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.
But I like it...
poster:Dinah
thread:478473
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/478473.html