Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2005, at 22:27:31
In reply to Re: no worries, (Dinah, please read, too) » Dinah, posted by LG04 on March 18, 2005, at 20:53:51
He said that while he was *glad* I had forgotten what he said on one level, on another level he worried that "forgetting" like that helped me maintain an idealized image of him (and others I might do that with). He said that it was also important for me to remember that however out of character it seemed to be for him to have said it, that there obviously *was* the capacity in him, however small, to say things like that.
I reminded him that I hadn't forgotten that he had said *something*, just not the specifics. Nor do I think I idealize him all that much. There is a constant running commentary in my head that is the very opposite of idealizing. And it seeps into even the part of me that adores him, keeping a nice healthy skepticism and mild distrust alive.
You should *hear* my opinion of him. lol.
It's more that in spite of all his flaws, he gives me something I need. He generates a feeling of calm that I suck up as greedily as a pup at a teat.
He's got other fine qualities as well. He's absolutely brilliant at relationship repair. But that's partially because he's got a bit of a temper that requires that he keep repairing relationships. lol. Nevertheless he's taught me a lot about that.
poster:Dinah
thread:471999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472686.html