Posted by B2chica on March 12, 2005, at 11:59:35
i posted a similar message on the meds board but wanted to duplicate it hear cuz i don't know if this incidence is med realted or just need more therapy!
i was put on zyprexa while i was in the hospital about two weeks ago. i was on it a year or so ago at 10mg and infact lost weight.but then went off feb of last year. this time i was put on 5mg and gained about 8lbs in this 2-3 week time. i took myself off it about 4days ago and last night while i was painting it was about 1/1:30 i suddenly got this INCREDIBLE urge to cut off my left hand.
-now you all here know i have a history of SI. so i did end up using some boning shears and cut slightly but i had to really fight hard not to go further. i wanted to use those to literally crack through my wrist! what the h@ll is wrong with me? it's weird to say but i REALLY wanted it off-it was the act of cutting it off i wanted, not the end result.
-now thinking about precipiatators, there was something that popped into my head that was unpleasant right before this happened but i don't get the relation to my hand? could some weird memory/thought cause such an urge or could this be med related?
i told myself not to move from my chair...i turned up the music a bit and just sat there for a while...after about 1/2 hour and after little SI the urge slowly lifted.-is this a weird reaction to going off the meds,
-is it something i would have had but since i went off they came back?
i like my hand. using it today to type (trying to laugh about it)...why would i want to do this?
d@mn that urge was strong...thinking about it today it's really scary cuz i REALLY WANTED to do this?? what if i had? why are these feelings SO INTENSE!I know i'll mention this to new T but should i mention it to pdoc??
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:470045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/470045.html