Posted by daisym on February 28, 2005, at 23:42:28
In reply to Trying to re-bury what I disclosed T- CSA Trigger, posted by Poet on February 28, 2005, at 19:13:52
(((Poet)))
I'm really sorry that the demons have come out, but better out than in. What I have learned is that those memories force their way up, haunt us for awhile and then we find a way to share the pain with so it isn't so huge and overwhelming. Sometimes I do this hour by hour. And telling isn't wrong nor does it mean you have to talk about this to anyone else ever --- unless you want to.
I can totally relate to wanting to take it all back. I go through this often. Last week I told my therapist something really awful and then I said "maybe I saw something on TV...or walked in on my parents...or..." I just didn't want it to be true. He shook his head sadly and said he wished it hadn't happened too...but given the depth of my anguish and everything else he knows, he believes it. He is sure my memories are real.
In retrospect, I was giving him an out. I would have been devastated if he had taken it. We need someone to hear these things and believe us. They can't undo what happened, but they can help all the stuck feelings come out and we can process it and move forward.
I'm not good at this. I struggle everyday. This weekend I didn't want to keep going. I'm so tired of struggling. But I know I HAVE to...the only way out is through. I hope my journey doesn't scare you. You've got a great therapist who has been with you in all of this. Cling to her. It helps.
I'm here to listen and help, when and if you need me. Please try to keep going with what you started. The anxiety now will be holding the stories. Telling eases the anxiety. You are not alone with it anymore.
(((Poet)))
poster:daisym
thread:464589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/464717.html