Posted by pinkeye on February 28, 2005, at 18:50:11
One of the problems with me always had been that I do things very well if asked of me by others - mostly some authority figure in my life. But I always had trouble in finding out things I want to do for myself - finding out meaning for myself in life. I always would do things for others and expect them to keep holding standards for me and pat on my back when I get them done well.
My current thearpist believes it is part of a pattern that I grew up with - always doing things to please my father - who wouldn't give me his approval for anything less than living up to his expectations.
But I don't want to keep blaming my father for
it. I have become aware of my pattern of behaviour, and have tried to change it as much as I could. But somehow it is not still fully done. I do like to do a lot of things that I am doing now, but somehow I feel little bit of void - a tiny bit of not being able to define what I want in life for myself.. I keep looking for somebody I like to tell me what they want me to do in my life and keep expecting them to like me when I do it well.Anybody else felt that?
poster:pinkeye
thread:464584
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/464584.html