Posted by B2chica on February 23, 2005, at 14:15:59
In reply to Re: scared. » B2chica, posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 13:55:22
> I really want you to allow them to see your pain and your fear. I hope you will give yourself permission to be you and not what you think they might want to hear.
sunny10.
this is so true...so true. your words are good.
i am so used to 'covering up', maybe that's why this whole process has been so hard. ive spent my whole life 'covering' that i don't even know what's real anymore. i just...it's SO hard not too. Especially with my husband there. i Always cover up...i don't want him to see my pain. i want to protect him from that...i know it must not make sense -wanting to protect him, yet S. thoughts...-the good news is this 'forced' meeting with docs put me in such a tizzy that it made me tell one of my friends what was going on. omg, he SO completely understands this 'circle' of feelings. he told me. I'm so thankful to have him IRL. he told me it's ok to just take few mintes at a time. and every once and a while when i get 'caught up' in something here at work, then realize i wasn't thinking of S.-to enjoy that...god those are good words. it made me not worry so much about the majority of feelings but rather focus on the 'few'. the only reason i could really make it into work today is there is a tech(with my friend there) meeting i can't miss at 3:00, and actually want to attend. that's one hour away, then when that's done, i'll head home-get husband and head to doc.
i'm so scared. of what they'll ask me, of what they want, will do. what do they want from me. why am i so scared...breathe. i trust my pdoc. i do...i do. he won't hurt me.
(ok, that last part was for me.)thanks for the response sunny10.
i do need help. i know i do.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:462264
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462301.html