Posted by pinkeye on February 17, 2005, at 14:12:25
In reply to Hah. Well Of Course, posted by Susan47 on February 17, 2005, at 0:24:02
Hi Susan,
From what I understood from your posts, you are conflicted so much - between holding your therapist in a pedestal and at the same time realizing that he did a horrible mistake with you.
I think you probably have a need to hold him in high regards and want to, yet at the same time cannot get over the feeilng that he did something really wrong with you..and you seem to swing between the two ends - think of him highly on one end and on the other end realizing he made such a big mistake and get confused yourself.
Maybe you should try to look at things from a more realistic perspective... that might help. Nobody in this world is either completely good or completely bad. Everybody is in a range from 0 - 100 on this scale, and that too everybody is not on a fixed level all the time. Sometimes we are close to 0 when we end up doing really horrible things and sometimes we are close to 100 when we go out of the way to reach out and help others and carry them through.
You therapist is probably swinging between these scales himself.. sometimes he does horrible things in life himself. And sometimes he probably does extraordinarily good things. Maybe he did something really bad with you, but maybe he has done something extremely good with other patients. Don't try to judge him too much, that would not help you move past this anger and hurt. Maybe you have difficulty accepting that he might have a dark side in life himself and going through his own struggles and disappointments and frustrations in life.I am not sure if my post brings you relief, I am trying to say what I can understand to my best. IF it helps you, take it for what it is worth. If it doesn't, leave it.
poster:pinkeye
thread:455625
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/459362.html