Posted by Pfinstegg on February 11, 2005, at 19:02:07
In reply to Re: A book worth reading » Pfinstegg, posted by daisym on February 11, 2005, at 18:19:56
I'm glad you read it. I got the message that there is a lot of hope if we just hang in there through the three phases, but this may have been in part from talking about the book with my T.
I'm wondering something. I think you said that the known abuse you suffered took place at around age 12-13. I guess this would be old enough for at least some of the memory of it to be available to you in your explicit memory. I'm getting the impression that, as you have worked with your T, more memories of details came from your unconscious, implicit memory. Is that right?
Mine took place at ages 6-7. It was completely unconscious until I began to allow myself to free-associate in analysis. Gradually, more and more details are coming to my mind, but it still is not exactly the "oh, I remember that" type of memory. It is largely non-verbal, implicit memory, but I know it is real, Using the art therapy, without any censoring, has been a big help in uncovering it. This is just a long way of getting around to the thought that you may well have been abused earlier, also. Did it happen to your sisters at younger ages? Since your parents are still alive, can you ask them non-threatening questions? (saying you are just interested in knowing the kind of child you were), I'd want to ask them to describe how I was at 3,6.9 etc.in terms of personality. Did you change from outgoing to reserved ever? What were the things they believed were most important when disciplining you? How, and how often, did they do it? Did you ever "act out"= be naughty? Did you ever have years when you were frightened at school and did not want to be with your friends? Did you have times when you lost interest in your studies? For you, do you feel you have any unusual gaps in your memory- that's supposed to be a big red flag for abuse. I bet you could find out a lot without cornering or threatening them. I would love to make a time line of my childhood. I can do it easily from 1-5, but then a blank cloud descends over everything.Maybe you'll be able to.
I don't know what you think of this. I'd give so much if my parents were still alive, as I would really like to fill in my huge gaps!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:453772
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/456474.html