Posted by Shortelise on February 2, 2005, at 1:04:59
In reply to T's wording keeps distance, posted by Speaker on February 1, 2005, at 22:12:47
Speaker, I am not going to tell you anything you don't already know, and I know that. Maybe I'll say it in a way that clicks for you, because for me, it's when I hear things at the right moment in the right way that I can feel the truth in them.
I'll need to think this through as I write because it's more of a felt thing than a thought thing, so bear with me.
He says, "I'm willing for you to call".
He isn't saying whatever it is you need to hear.
But you don't tell him. You don't say to him, that doesn't sound real, it doesn;t sound sincere.
And you believe you should be able to work through it on your own.
Speaker, if you could work through this stuff on your own, would you be in therapy?
If you have to keep coming back to your mistrust of his sincerity, then you have to come back to it. If you stay there for months, chewing on it, then so be it.
If you need more than he is giving, you need to deal with it, because it's the stuff that drives us nuts in our relationships with our T's that is the same stuff that is driving us crazy in our real lives.
That's the important bit there: when we begin to confront the crap in our relationships with our T's. then we beging to heal the crap in our lives.
Bring it up, Speaker, and bring it up again if the feelings are still there or something else happens where you feel uncared for, or unimportant or whatever the feelings are. Stay on it, fight it out. My opinion of course, as always. I write with such conviction, someone might actually think I know what I'm talking about!
ShortE
PS I hope I don't get on your nerves. I can be so strident.
poster:Shortelise
thread:451388
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050129/msgs/451495.html