Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2005, at 20:01:27
In reply to Re: Idealizing, posted by Toph on January 1, 2005, at 15:07:59
Trust, to me, is knowing that someone will work out problems with you, won't hurt you on purpose, and is the same more or less from one day to the next. It doesn't mean they have to be perfect, but it helps if I'm aware of how they're not perfect so that I know in what way they'll let me down.
Idealization is thinking they'll never let you down. :) Well, maybe not, but it's being surprised and hurt when they let you down.
Attachment is an entirely different kettle of fish. I was attached to my therapist long before I had reason to trust him. Attachment is just a longing to be close to someone in some way. There are some pretty sick attachments in the world. (But I loooooove him...)
There's also insecure and secure attachments, and a few different sorts of insecure attachments, if I remember correctly. I'll have to look it up.
Here's a good link:
http://www.trauma-pages.com/steele-2001.htm
poster:Dinah
thread:436049
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/436530.html