Posted by messadivoce on December 5, 2004, at 17:15:26
In reply to Re: Babble Guide to Therapists: Do's and Don'ts, posted by simcha on December 5, 2004, at 15:38:22
>>> Also, it would not be a good idea for a therapist to share everything about a treatment plan or style. There is such a thing as transference...what the client feels or thinks and projects onto the therapist. This is very important and necessary for the therapeutic process. It would ruin the entire therapy to explain all of the transferences and counter transferences...>>>
Hmm, I think knowing that such a thing was normal would have helped a lot. My T did not provide info fast enough for me, so I went out and did my own research, which took a long time and required me to wade through a lot of nonesense. I was relieved to discover that there was a name for what I was experiencing, and that it was pretty normal. If only he had told me what was happening and that it was normal (instead of my coming to that conclusion myself) I could have saved myself a lot of time, worry and pain. My point is, if your client has insatiable curiosity, we will try to find out what's going on, and the info we get might not be what you'd want us to hear (it may be erronious or unprofessional) so it's better if you tell us yourself what's going on (and you don't have to tell us everything, but a little enlightenment helps).
>>> Therapy is the place to be bowled over like you've never been bowled over before. That way when it happens in the outer world (outside the office) the client has the ability to deal with the feelings in a more adaptive manner....>>>I sort of agree with this, but I think that only someone who has experienced the pain of transference and longing is truly qualified to make such a statement. Maybe you have experienced such a thing and it was beneficial to your treatment. To that effect, I was totally unprepared to deal with my immense feelings for him, and as cubic said, I had to deal with it myself most of the time...I look back on that period of my life and realize how much agony I was in because my T seemed to call forth such strong emotions that I then had to deal with myself until I saw him again. Yes, therapy is supposed to shake up your world, but after a certain point I think it can do more harm than good.
My termination was somewhat problematic due to his inconsistancy with post-termination communication. I wonder if the promises he made to me had more to do with counter-transference than inexperience. I'll never know, because though he shared that he experienced countertransference, he never went into detail (this was at the end of my treatment). So I'm left to put the pieces together myself, and there's a lot missing.
That having been said, in defense of my T, he handled my feelings skillfully even if he didn't always clue me in. And yes, I did learn that there was at least one trustworthy man in the world, and my experience with him has colored my feelings about other people, for the better. I owe him a lot of my happiness. I feel a great deal of love and affection for him that I know goes around and through transference.
poster:messadivoce
thread:420851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041203/msgs/424911.html