Posted by cubic_me on November 25, 2004, at 10:36:54
In reply to no time to cry, posted by kellyr. on November 24, 2004, at 13:51:14
I really understand how you feel, I was never beaten for crying, but I was shouted at and it was made very clear that crying was wrong and that 'good' people don't show emotion etc. Like you, I find it very hard to show emotion now.
In my teens I began to understand why I had not cried for so many years, and why I couldn't cry. At the beginning I had learned to stop myself from crying when I wanted to cry, and eventually I stoped myself from crying so early that it was unconcious - I never even felt that I wanted to cry. It has taken me a long time to get to the point where I can occasionally cry on my own, although it is rare. Luckily my T understood why I couldn't cry, during our termination session she said that she would expect a few tears, but knew that it was not going to happen. Sometimes during therapy she would sit there, and I felt like she was waiting for me to cry, but I told her that there was no chance of me crying.
The first step for me was to allow myslef to feel my own emotions - to let myself feel sad, or angry, or whatever, you can't expect to express things when you have shut down your feelings of some emotions. I still feel like I need to have something to cry 'about', even tho rationally that is not true, and I can't cry infront of anyone, but I'm still working on that. I have to keep reminding myself that sometimes people like to see our vulnerable side - it endears them to us.
poster:cubic_me
thread:419935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/420130.html