Posted by daisym on November 25, 2004, at 1:30:08
In reply to Re: I think I'm losing it a little » daisym, posted by fallsfall on November 24, 2004, at 7:04:41
*** Practice, practice, practice, practice... Think about how hard it was in the beginning to even think about this hard stuff. And now you are talking about it. You really are making a lot of progress - it is slow and very painful, but it is *real* progress. Just keep doing what you are doing. I really am amazed by how much you have learned - I hope that you can almost-sortof-kindof see that you have done so much already. I hope that that recognition will help you to keep barging ahead.
>>>Thanks for everything you said, Falls. I don't think I have a choice but to keep doing what I'm doing. He pushes and little daisy pushes...everyone wants me to talk but me! :)
Today we talked more about how I was feeling lost and about how hard it is to talk about all of this. He asked me if I felt "abused" by him in some way...were his questions causing me to shut down, to retreat into silence? Were some of these feelings old and was this perhaps a reenactment of some kind?
I stopped and tried to sort out if that was true. I never feel like he is hurting me when he questions me, but there are elements of this that feel old. I told him I'm not sure what the reenactment is, if it is one. He asked me to look at times when I really needed people, what else happened when I tried to get my needs met? So we talked about old patterns of being very good while being very silent about the "bad" things. I'll have to think about it some more, I don't understand it all yet.
I think it is just going to take awhile before I know what triggers me to push away and how to turn it off. If I ever do figure it out.
Hugs,
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:419566
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/420008.html