Posted by Dinah on November 16, 2004, at 20:13:59
Or maybe it's what's going on with my parents. But the last two therapy sessions have been so incredibly intense that I'm almost glad I'm going three times a week, though I can't afford it for long.
I go in all right, almost not thinking I'll be able to access my emotions. But I have been somehow able to go back and re-experience things as I experienced them as a child. Not recovered memories or anything. But not just recounting things either. It's never really happened to me before, and it's a bit unsettling.
But it's also a bit reassuring. I've felt so alienated from my therapist lately. But the last two sessions have been those ones where we're really in sync. I have my eyes tightly closed yet I can detect his reactions so well that both times I've known when time was up without him moving to pick up my file and without my seeing the clock. I can just tell a difference in the level of engagement. It's as obvious to me as if he had leaned back, although he didn't say anything "closing", he didn't move, and he didn't try to end the session.
It's all a bit fuzzy afterwards, exactly what I had said. But the shift in perspective to one of actually experiencing things as I did then instead of looking back is something new for me.
poster:Dinah
thread:416859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/416859.html