Posted by michellemybell on November 6, 2004, at 3:14:48
Hello everyone,
My therapist had to terminate therapy (abandon me)in February. I am a college student and saw her at the schools counseling center. The first months of not being being able to contact her was tormenting. Then I had the best summer of my life, then I was okay in school without her for 2 months, and now I find myself becoming obsessed with her again. My new therapist says its because I although I now can, I dont want to let go of the obsession. I am not sure. All I know is that I think about her most of time, want to call, want to see her, want her to see me socializing with people, want to run into her. The worst part is that I have to see her car every time I drive on the main road, waiting at longgg light, with her car parked right in front. I am so angry that I was not allowed to tell her how I felt, how everything was blamed on me, and that they are maing me wait a year to see her again. She lied to me, she abaoned me. She told me she loved me, and would be there for her, and that I can open up and trust her, and just because I develop feelings for , she gets scared and didnt even try to help with that saying it wasnt important. Well I ended up acting out because my feelings, because she was pushing me away, not dealing with it. And now look what happened, I dont have her. There was a big fight. And I cant see her until February. I know most of the waiting time is over but lately I am just diving back into obsession, anger, lust and sadness over her. I want to tell her everything. I want to yell at her while I hug her so close. I never felt even close to obsessed with anyone except her. Its driving me crazy. And my new therapist, who is understanding, calm, and I know will never leave me, is kind of getting frustrated with me because she cant help me and I am not letting go. If I let go it is defeat, if I let go that means she isnt in my life anymore. I cant have that. I dont know what to do.
poster:michellemybell
thread:412465
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/412465.html